Thursday, August 14, 2008

Classic Fart Joke

Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?
"Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?""
Hmm," says the Doctor,He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Secret to Business Sucess

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success.""Very good," said the teacher.Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events.""Very good, Sally," said the teacher.Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said."$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?""Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny."Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?""I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.They all said, “This tastes like POOP!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

Doctor's Appointment


This morning I went to the doctor to get a physical for the marching band. I've been swimming a lot recently and have had some trouble in my right ear. When I told the nurse that she looked in my ear and said that I had a lot of ear wax built up, so she went to search for..."The Elephant Sprayer". She shot water into my ear at high speeds for about 3 minutes with a look of frustration on her face.

"No luck?" I asked.

"Nothing", she said.

She put some kindof ointment in my ear and waited for about 15 minutes then she came back for another try.

As she sprayed the "Elephant" into my ear all of the sudden she had a great look of joy come onto her face. She said, "You're gonna lova me!" ..."this is exciting!"

She was so determined to get that ear wax out when she saw something come out she was filled with true joy and a sense of accomplishment.

She said, "because of me you are gonna be able to hear the music in the band perfectly and do great, and you'll be able to get straight A's in class cause you'll be able to hear the professor perfectly! Check out what i pulled from your ear!"

I looked in the bucket thing she put it in and it was one of the most horrifying but joyous things I had ever seen! It was a large mass of BLACK nasty ear wax!!!! EEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I asked her why it was black and she said cause it has been there for a long time! I can hear better than a bat now!!!!! It's so clear and isn't muffled anymore...I never knew it was so muffled but now i can tell a difference.

This day, my friends, will go down in the history books! I haven't had such a joyous removal of ear wax since I was 10 years old! I remeber it vivedly but i wont go into details of that one...

Note: Pictured above is not the actual ear wax that was removed this morning. No ear wax was harmed in the making of this post. Thank You.

Horseback Riding

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde beings to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over... As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness.
When to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter.
Sees her and unplugs the horse.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Funny One Liners

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Death is hereditary.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's the speed of dark?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Mission Pics

So i found some old mission pics! The greatest time ever!!!! Check these out!


MEANS OF TRAVEL...jk




Church in Maimon (1st area)


Crazy CCM (MTC) plant!


Making a roof in the middle of the street!


Tropical Dominican Republic!

Updates

So some people have requested that they want to hear what's going on in my life or something. They said something about that's what blogs are for...I still refuse to believe them.

I work at the Florida Bar, and I'm going to school for business. I'll probably be in school the rest of my life though so i still have no career plans yet. The second coming might happen before i get out of school. :)

James R. Brannen, My grandpa and father in the gospel recently passed away after 6 weeks of problems in the hospital from a car wreck. He was the one that baptised me, gave me the priesthood (Aaronic and Melchesidec), he gave me my patriarichal blessing, and was my escort in the temple, he was there supporting me for my eagle scout award, and always rewarded me for good grades in school, he challenged me to memorize important scriptures and the articles of faith, and would always encourage me to do good in life. He is a hero in my life and one of the most influential people to me. I only wish he could've been there to seal me and my future wife in the temple. I'm glad I got to spend a part of his life so close to him. The funeral service on wednesday was very special. There were tons of people there and many good words spoken. It was his time to go and he's doing a lot better now. He was a great example of how to overcome the flesh and successfully make it through this probationary state we are all in. Losing someone close, as I imagine some of you are familiar with, really puts things into perspective. How short this life is and how important it is to do good. He will be missed but we'll see him soon. until then i'll strive to do the best I can in this life so I can finish strong just like "Qua Qua". :)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Chuck Norris

So before my mission I always thought Chuck Norris was kindof a low budget actor that wasn't very famous but could kick someones trash. His best known film..."Sidekick" LOL! I loved it! After my mission there's this huge fad about Chuck Norris quotes and how amazing he is. I don't understand it? why Chuck Norris? The quotes are pretty hilarious though.

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

-There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.

-A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

-If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

-French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

-Chuck norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

-If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

-Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.

-Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard.

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

-Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, toaster oven or a microwave... Because revenge is a dish that's best served cold.

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

-Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.

-It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Funny Quotes

"Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working." --Anonymous

If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong? - Unknown

"Nobody goes there anymore...it's too crowded." Yogi Berra

Great men talk about ideas; Mediocre men talk about things; Small men talk about people. - Admiral Hyman Rickover
(What does that say about a society in which People magazine is a best seller? - JK)

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground.

Better English

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double leters whish have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop them and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Help for Guys

The dating world is very competitive and rough. To have the edge over other guys I'd like to give you all some hot fresh pick up lines that are bound to work. with these pick up lines you can accomplish anything you put your mind to!

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

Hi my name is _____, but you can call me tonight.

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other girls look really bad.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

Is your father a thief? 'Cause he stole the sparkle from the stars and put it in your eyes.

You're so sweet, you'd put Hershey's out of business.

Where have you been all my life?

I lost my phone number can i borrow yours?

I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.

Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most. -- George R. Kirkpatrick

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

50 Interesting Facts!

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.
2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.
6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11. Dalmatians are born without spots.
12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).
14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.
15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.
16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.
17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.
18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.
19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.
23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.
25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.
26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.
27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.
28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.
30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.
33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.
36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.
38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like itis smiling).
39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”
40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
42. The average person laughs 13 times a day.
43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.
46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump.
47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Funny Pics



Are You Serious?


The True Church?


Thoughts about the homeless.



I have always been intrigued with homeless people. Why are they homeless? Why can't they get a job or afford a house? Is it OK to give them money? or food? How do you know what they are gonna use it for? I've talked to some people about it who have said that it doesn't matter what they do with it, once you give it to them you've done your part and it's up to them to use their agency and do what they want with it. There's an old saying that would come to mind when I think about this, "You can give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and he'll have food the rest of his life." When we give money or even food to homeless people are we just teaching them to live off of us, to depend on society for their supplement, and to not learn how to provide for themselves? Are we just teaching them how to be lazy and slothful or are we possibly providing them funding for their alcohol or drug research? :) This, I feel, can also happen with one's children. If the parents are constantly giving the children anything they want then they wont learn principles of hard work and appreciation for things. But...Where do you draw the line?

GAS!!!



"The region's gasoline prices climbed to record highs over the Memorial Day holiday with seemingly no end to increases in sight, AAA Mid-Atlantic reported Tuesday. "

Gas prices are ridiculous!!! Since I live pretty close to everywhere I usually go in Tallahassee I've thought about investing in a bike. That way I never have to pay for gas again!!! YEAH!!! I would get great exercise too!!! My cousin Connor rides his bike about 5 miles a day and has lost quite a bit of weight by doing it. So as I see it I'm hitting two birds with one stone! Imagine if everyone only rode bikes...there wouldn't be any problems in the world at all... :)
It would also take me back to the good ol' middle school days. lol.




Friday, May 23, 2008

R.I.P.



When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.
I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."

Funny Signs





Doggie Disguise
Businessman

0 to 200 in 6 seconds!

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really MAD.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !! "The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. LOL!

Other Funny Pictures


Bring the Pain!

Typical Guy!
Divorce Cake!

I Want!


When I grow up and have my own house there are a few necessary items that must be possesed by yours truly. Jetski's are number one on the list, for sure! I've recently added another item to my list that I found on the internet. It must be placed in every bathroom in my house! AQUARIUM SINK!!!! WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT IT!!!! LOOK AT IT!!!! HAHA!! I LOVE IT!

Secret Society?


I seem to have stumbled upon one of the greatest kept secrets of all time! It was a cold lonely morning at a friends house when i saw this epic battle come to light. It seems, after much investigation, that there is a secret society of ninja kitties out to overthrow the canine stereotype of being "Man's best friend." I caught one of them in action here! As you might notice they are very suprised that I caught such a thing on camera. Usually they are masters at not letting the "humans" see their ninja art and epic battles. It just goes to show my true camera skills passed down in our bloodline from generation to generation. I received my unhumanlike photo capturing skills from my very father! http://www.danharrisphotoart.com/. HAHA!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

BK $10,000 a day winner!


My life long goal is to win the Indiana Jones BK promotion $10,000 a day! Imagine...if i eat a lot of fast food I could win tons of money!!! Two things I LOVE!!! LOL! I can make eating fast food at Burger King my fulltime job and then invest the money and gain millions!!!! I can live my dream of eating all day long!!! It is an infallible plan!!! Wish me luck.