Good intentions!
5 years ago
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Help for Guys
The dating world is very competitive and rough. To have the edge over other guys I'd like to give you all some hot fresh pick up lines that are bound to work. with these pick up lines you can accomplish anything you put your mind to!
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Hi my name is _____, but you can call me tonight.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other girls look really bad.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Is your father a thief? 'Cause he stole the sparkle from the stars and put it in your eyes.
You're so sweet, you'd put Hershey's out of business.
Where have you been all my life?
I lost my phone number can i borrow yours?
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Hi my name is _____, but you can call me tonight.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other girls look really bad.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Is your father a thief? 'Cause he stole the sparkle from the stars and put it in your eyes.
You're so sweet, you'd put Hershey's out of business.
Where have you been all my life?
I lost my phone number can i borrow yours?
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
Quotes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most. -- George R. Kirkpatrick
Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most. -- George R. Kirkpatrick
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
50 Interesting Facts!
1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.
2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.
6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11. Dalmatians are born without spots.
12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).
14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.
15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.
16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.
17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.
18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.
19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.
23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.
25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.
26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.
27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.
28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.
30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.
33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.
36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.
38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like itis smiling).
39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”
40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
42. The average person laughs 13 times a day.
43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.
46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump.
47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!
2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.
5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.
6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.
8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11. Dalmatians are born without spots.
12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).
14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.
15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.
16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.
17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.
18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.
19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.
20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.
23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.
24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.
25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.
26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.
27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.
28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.
29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.
30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.
32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.
33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.
36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.
38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like itis smiling).
39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”
40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.
41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
42. The average person laughs 13 times a day.
43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.
46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump.
47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.
50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thoughts about the homeless.
I have always been intrigued with homeless people. Why are they homeless? Why can't they get a job or afford a house? Is it OK to give them money? or food? How do you know what they are gonna use it for? I've talked to some people about it who have said that it doesn't matter what they do with it, once you give it to them you've done your part and it's up to them to use their agency and do what they want with it. There's an old saying that would come to mind when I think about this, "You can give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and he'll have food the rest of his life." When we give money or even food to homeless people are we just teaching them to live off of us, to depend on society for their supplement, and to not learn how to provide for themselves? Are we just teaching them how to be lazy and slothful or are we possibly providing them funding for their alcohol or drug research? :) This, I feel, can also happen with one's children. If the parents are constantly giving the children anything they want then they wont learn principles of hard work and appreciation for things. But...Where do you draw the line?
GAS!!!
"The region's gasoline prices climbed to record highs over the Memorial Day holiday with seemingly no end to increases in sight, AAA Mid-Atlantic reported Tuesday. "
Gas prices are ridiculous!!! Since I live pretty close to everywhere I usually go in Tallahassee I've thought about investing in a bike. That way I never have to pay for gas again!!! YEAH!!! I would get great exercise too!!! My cousin Connor rides his bike about 5 miles a day and has lost quite a bit of weight by doing it. So as I see it I'm hitting two birds with one stone! Imagine if everyone only rode bikes...there wouldn't be any problems in the world at all... :)
It would also take me back to the good ol' middle school days. lol.
Friday, May 23, 2008
R.I.P.
When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.
I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."
I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."
0 to 200 in 6 seconds!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really MAD.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !! "The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. LOL!
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !! "The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. LOL!
I Want!
When I grow up and have my own house there are a few necessary items that must be possesed by yours truly. Jetski's are number one on the list, for sure! I've recently added another item to my list that I found on the internet. It must be placed in every bathroom in my house! AQUARIUM SINK!!!! WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT IT!!!! LOOK AT IT!!!! HAHA!! I LOVE IT!
Secret Society?
I seem to have stumbled upon one of the greatest kept secrets of all time! It was a cold lonely morning at a friends house when i saw this epic battle come to light. It seems, after much investigation, that there is a secret society of ninja kitties out to overthrow the canine stereotype of being "Man's best friend." I caught one of them in action here! As you might notice they are very suprised that I caught such a thing on camera. Usually they are masters at not letting the "humans" see their ninja art and epic battles. It just goes to show my true camera skills passed down in our bloodline from generation to generation. I received my unhumanlike photo capturing skills from my very father! http://www.danharrisphotoart.com/. HAHA!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
BK $10,000 a day winner!
My life long goal is to win the Indiana Jones BK promotion $10,000 a day! Imagine...if i eat a lot of fast food I could win tons of money!!! Two things I LOVE!!! LOL! I can make eating fast food at Burger King my fulltime job and then invest the money and gain millions!!!! I can live my dream of eating all day long!!! It is an infallible plan!!! Wish me luck.
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