Chuck Norris

So before my mission I always thought Chuck Norris was kindof a low budget actor that wasn't very famous but could kick someones trash. His best known film..."Sidekick" LOL! I loved it! After my mission there's this huge fad about Chuck Norris quotes and how amazing he is. I don't understand it? why Chuck Norris? The quotes are pretty hilarious though.

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

-There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.

-A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

-If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

-French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

-Chuck norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

-If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

-Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.

-Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even more unbeatable poker beard.

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

-Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, toaster oven or a microwave... Because revenge is a dish that's best served cold.

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

-Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.

-It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.